What does your car say about you?

OK, so you may spend money on clothes, or haircuts, or ‘the right restaurants’ - or you may not - either way your car probably says more than you think about you, and your attitude to life. Let’s have a look at a few ‘archetypal’ cars and what they might say about their owners...

• The 4 x 4 driver. Is a closet tank driver. They embrace engineering, metal and everything that shows how humankind is the dominant species. They may have taken the bull bars off the front following the media outrage – but it was a difficult decision. If it wasn’t socially unacceptable – they’d drive right over you in traffic. Their worst nightmare would be breaking down: a sign of weakness, so a well serviced vehicle: guaranteed.

• The Prius Driver. Often heard at petrol station declaring loudly that they haven’t had to fill up since 1997. Likely to be overly righteous, possibly eating tofu, and with Sting on the stereo.

• The convertible driver. They may claim that it’s more comfortable in the summer months, but if you drive a convertible you’re saying: look at my car and look at me. You may well have a pony tail, and will definitely have some expensive sunglasses to compliment the elbow on the door, Phil Collins on the stereo look.

• The VW Campervan. Technically unlikely to be actually seen on the road, more likely steaming on the hard-shoulder. You may think that (although from Reigate) you are living the ‘surfer’ dream, but – apart from a couple of weeks in the summer – you never see VW campervans at the beach: in fact, they are a guaranteed sign that you’re not a beach-based surfer!

• The 2 seater sports car. Maybe a statement about your proficiency behind the wheel, and your serious approach to performance automobiles, or maybe an indication that you don’t have enough friends to merit having a normal sized car... Guaranteed to be MOT’d on schedule as the 2 seater driver has little else to do in their spare time.

• The Baby on Board/I fed the lions at London Zoo ‘overly stickered car’. Seeing their car more as an advertisement than an automobile, the overly stickered car driver probably wears their heart on their sleeve. They have no qualms about everybody knowing everything about them. Not the kind of person you want to be sat next to at a dinner party.

• The company car. Traded in every year and playing their own ‘corporate war’ with other company car drivers. They realise that times have moved on since ‘Mondeo Man’ and that there is a much more complicated game taking place nowadays. Has probably now realised that the Audi TT isn’t quite as cool as it once was...

Whatever you’re driving, be aware that you’re saying something about yourself, even if you’re trying not to and – regardless of what you’re driving – don’t be seen ‘bonnet up’ by the side of the road: that’s never a good look and says ‘No, I don’t have my car serviced’...